Unconditional

I couldn't foresee such immense privilege
As I entered your life, so full of luggage,
But meeting you, your heart so pure,
Who could resist such strong allure?

You taught I could love this way
And so many days I wish I could stay.
You’re the one thing I will always be proud,
Even when taken over by the creeping dark cloud.

In a lot of ways I'm a rootless wanderer
A hopeless soul that can't stand an anchor,
But deep inside I always had this fear,
The day you'd need me and I wasn't near.

Traveling so much and being away
I can't stop myself from going astray,
But in all those places, I've never felt so far,
As when I'm miles away from where you are

And who would have guessed just hours ago,
With a smile on my face that for sure made me glow,
As I hanged your picture on my bedroom wall,
That my heart would suddenly become so small?

I usually claim it as my refuge,
But today the night just feels too huge.
The increasing silence I learned to love
Just feeds the bad thoughts flying above.

We made our vows despite the distance,
But it does nothing to easy my conscience.
Because life happens, and comes days like this,
It all just sounds like empty promises.

I would truly give it all away
Just for a chance to be there a day.
But all I have left now, is to wait
Hoping my prays help you feel great.

One thing though keeps my spirit high,
One simple fact no one can deny.
If there's one thing I know about children
Is that no-one else is so resilient.

You've got mail! / Há correio!

Nota: Versão Portuguesa mais abaixo.

I always had this obsession with letters.

I remember being 6 or 7 years old and every day run to the mail box to check the mail only to get extremely disappointed when day after day my parents would have mail waiting for them, and there was nothing in it for me. Little did I know that all they got were bills and responsibilities, but at least they were getting something.

Eventually one of my older cousins felt sorry for me and started to send me some mail. She would write little notes or drawings that she would put in the mailbox herself before coming to visit us at my house. They were just simple messages, but boy was I excited!

There was something magical about going to that little box and being surprised by something that was meant for no-one else but me. I still have them, all of them, every little note or postcard that I ever got.

The years passed and you would think one would let go of this childish ideas, but no, I might not run to the mailbox anymore, but I’d sure still enjoy the occasional surprise when I’d get one. The evolution of the society didn’t help, after all, being part of the generation Y, with everyone becoming computer savvy and having a mobile phone on their pockets only meant less and less mail, but I did my best… As a teenager I would exchange letters with younger cousins (even my friends’ cousins!), I would always send loads of postcards during holidays and during long school breaks me and my friend would write each other long letters that we would send by mail (even though we only lived a few Km apart).

After college, during my first Gap Year as an Au Pair in the USA, once in a while my mother would send me and the kids a care package, and if I used to like to get them, the kids absolutely loved them! It didn’t even matter what was inside, they would just get so excited with the idea of getting something. Later, when I moved to Poland for a while, I challenged my friends to send me letters/postcards to color the blank walls in my bedroom they rose to the occasion which made my stay there way more fun.

As I keep traveling around the world or even when I’m back home I keep finding excuses to mail something out, maybe because I have friends spread around the globe, or maybe because I get as much joy out of sending mail than as receiving. And maybe it’s silly, because I don’t even know if anyone really cares about this things anymore, but if they get half as happy as me when I get mail, than it is worth it, because even now, being a grown woman, getting unexpected mail truly just makes my day.

Há correio!

Sempre tive esta obsessão por cartas.

Lembro-me de ter 6 ou 7 anos e de todos os dias correr para a caixa do correio acabando por ficar completamente desiludida quando dia após dia os meus pais tinham correio à sua espera e não havia nada pra mim. Mal eu sabia que o que os esperava eram contas e responsabilidades, mas ainda assim… pelo menos era alguma coisa.

A certa altura, uma das minhas primas sentiu pena de mim e decidiu começar a enviar-me correio. Escrevia pequenas notas ou desenhos que depois ela própria punha na nossa caixa do correio antes de nos visitar. Eram mensagens simples, mas eu adorava!

Havia algo de especial em ir àquela pequena caixa e ser surpreendida por algo que se destinava a mim e a mais ninguém. Ainda as tenho, todas elas, cada nota ou postal que alguma vez recebi.

Os anos passaram e seria de esperar que eu ultrapassasse esta mania de infância, mas não. Podia já não correr para a caixa do correio, mas ainda me alegrava com cada surpresa que recebia. A evolução da sociedade não ajudava, afinal sendo parte da geração Y, com toda a gente a usar cada mais os computadores e com telemóveis nos bolsos, as cartas tornavam-se cada vez mais raras, mas ainda assim continuei a tentar… na minha adolescência trocava cartas com as primas mais novas (e até com as primas das minhas amigas!), enviava sempre imensos postais durante as férias, e no verão, quando não havia escola eu e a minha amiga escrevíamos longas cartas que enviávamos uma à outra por correio (apesar de vivermos apenas a alguns Km de distância).

Depois da faculdade, quando fiz o meu primeiro Gap Year como Au Pair nos EUA, de vez em quando a minha mãe mandava uma encomenda para mim e para as crianças, e se eu gostava de recebê-las, os miúdos então adoravam! Nem importava o que estava lá dentro, a excitação era enorme apenas por estarem a receber algo. Mais tarde, quando me mudei para a Polónia por uma temporada, desafiei os meus amigos a enviarem-me cartas/postais para colorir as paredes brancas do meu quarto. Eles aceitaram o desafio o que tornou a minha estadia lá bem mais divertida.

À medida que vou viajando pelo mundo, ou até mesmo quando estou de volta a casa, estou constantemente a procurar desculpas para enviar alguma coisa por correio. Talvez por ter amigos espalhados pelo globo, ou talvez porque tiro tanto prazer de enviar correio como de o receber. E talvez seja uma palermice, porque nem sequer sei se alguém ainda dá importância a isso, mas se tirarem metade do prazer que eu tiro destes momentos então já valeu a pena, porque ainda hoje, já crescida, nada me faz sorrir mais do que chegar a casa e receber correio inesperado.